A famous quote by Walt Whitman, an American poet, essayist, journalist and influential writer, that lived in the 1800s. Whitman is often called the father of free verse, a writing style that broke all the rules at the time.
The quote was more recently made famous all over again when used by Ted Lasso in the hit TV series of the same name. Be curious, not judgmental – four simple words that hold a lot of power. Curiosity is about wondering before assuming, asking, before deciding and listening before dismissing.
Judgement – it’s everywhere – in school, in group chats, on social media. We judge the new kid before we even learn their name. We judge someone’s outfit, their grades, their music taste. We think we know everything about someone after one glance.
Judgement is the easy way out, it’s comfortable, it’s quick, it’s lazy, it lets us categorize people into neat little boxes—popular, weird, smart, dumb, cool, – without having to actually get to know them. The problem with being judgmental though, is that it’s not reality, it’s just our perception.
Have you ever watched a movie with a friend and thought it was amazing, only for them to say, “That was the worst thing I’ve ever seen”? Same movie, totally different experience. Why? Because our opinions aren’t facts, they’re shaped by our own personal lenses. Psychologists say that we humans, tend to fuse with our judgments – that means we don’t just have opinions; we become them.
We don’t say, “I think this person is rude.” We say, “That person is rude.” We don’t say, “I don’t like this song.” We say, “This song is terrible.” We mistake our personal experiences for absolute truth. And when we do that, we shut ourselves off from new perspectives, from learning, from growing. And to make things worse – judgment creates division. It separates us. It leads to cliques, to misunderstandings, to people feeling alone when they should feel included.
Curiosity on the other hand connects people – instead of thinking, they’re so weird, what if you asked, what makes them passionate about that? Instead of rolling your eyes at someone’s excitement, what if you wondered, why does this matter so much to them? Instead of assuming someone is mean, what if you thought, I wonder what they’re going through? Curiosity takes courage. It means admitting we don’t have all the answers. It means challenging our own assumptions.
It also means better friendships, deeper understanding, and a world that isn’t just black and white. Next time you feel that urge to judge – pause first, choose curiosity. Judgment divides, curiosity brings people together.
Be curious, not judgmental and watch how your world changes.
Stuart Walls
Head of Senior School
Director of Round Square
